27-01-08

sunday

confession

being in love

nothing matters

reduced to a barely respectable 

magma of neuronic chemistry

you watch the world go round

you wait

you hope

you despair

you aggravate

nervous ?

yes

of fumbling, stumbling, falling rediculously

frightened ?

yes

of losing her.

a friend told me 

"being in love is being jealous 24/7"

not jealousy, envy

not being able to be there when others are

and i'm the only one to blame

the only one

me

hurts my pride

yes, envy,

more, and more,

pure greed, never satisfied, never happy,

mine, my selfish mine,

asking for more, dragging it out from even deeper,

eat all you can just is not enough

this insatiable gluttony riding on over drive

knows no limits

and you wait

i wait

I sloth

meandering king of patience, annihalator of boredem,

mastermind of the next faulty move

the next faux pas

i look for signs that mean nothing 

but reasure me in the most trivial of ways

and pave my way into some sort of sanity.

beautiful sin

beautiful toxin

lust, all in our mind, creeping deeper and deeper in our minds 

frustration growing thus creating a violent anger screaming silently

into a dark void

toxic sin