Dread

I'm dreading today
Tomorrow too and the day after... And after that too
6 months of strain
6 months of airtight contained stress
6 months of professional slavery
6 months of 27/7
6 months of moving mountains
6 months of wanting to cry every fucking morning
6 months of trying to fly higher and higher without even looking down
Today is make or break
Succeed or fail
4 days to finish vu du rail
I'm trying to find anything reassuring to hold on to, but there's nothing
Free falling
I'll know tonight how big the crash will be...
To be continued

Pressure

Smoked a stick the other day whilst waiting for the Mac to sleep. The office was quiet. Just the hum of Satie.
It felt good.
I needed it.
It can become customary
And will - for the time being - be the custodian of my sanity the regenerator of calmness, the one who nonchalantly forces that bully called life, momentarily back into it's dark corner.